first days are like first dates that are about to go terribly and painfully wrong. EXCEPT it is the first date and you are blinded by the beauty and excitement and will not see any of the obvious orange cone construction warning signs that block all lanes of traffic that you are barreling down at a blazing 2 miles per hour towards. all you can focus on is the joy and nervousness and the breathtaking beauty. mind you not of the ominous darkened clouds on the horizon you will be walking towards. nor the 13 river crossings that will soften your lack of calloused feet, which will put you over the edge in terms of blister management of prevention (or in the case of brett–quarter sized seeping holes that are blackened like the Blackened Chicken Sandwich from Backyard Burger after a day of walking. did i mention they were symetrical or that they were at least a quarter inch deep on each heel. did i describe the look on my face when he showed them to us? well its the same look i had on my face when i threw up in my mouth and had to swallow it back down after being wasted at the Waiting Room three beers deep but really 2).
So yes the clouds, the river crossings–what else? the 30-40 lbs of new weight on your back as mosquitos and let me clarify–SWARMS of mosquitos. Im talking LOONEY TUNES style where they (the devil reincarnate) create a machine gun formation in the air and start firing full auto at will. meanwhile you are slapping everywhere especially the back of the knees while the gnats kamakazee into your eyeballs and the horse flies attack from the flank to drive you right to the edge of developing a nervous twitch. (its true. trust me on this. ive been to the edge and i never wanna go back, but i have to in about an hour.)
but like i said “blinded by beauty and excitement.”
its funny what the brain perceives as reality and fantasy and where it draws the line on different days. and no matter how obvious the warning signs are of the upcoming struggle the skies are clear of clouds, your feet are never wet, mosquitos, gnats, blackfiles, horseflies, houseflies, bees, new gray flies that bite and make you bleed and itch for days dont exist.
and you float on for the first day because first days are like first dates. you feel nothing and can walk 20 miles starting at noon and get to camp by 9pm and still feel good about everything. shit you actually feel great. especially because you have the foresight and experience to take these little red magic beans that suspend the fantasy just a little longer maybe 4 to 8 hours depending on the dosage. vitamin “I” they call them otherwise known as IB Profen.
Then there are the first signs. they usually come subconsiously–great sleep with morning reminents of wild and strange dreams that arent the same kind you have at home in your comfy bed but those from the rotisserie sleep tossing but more turning on the ground. so there are the dreams that will continue for the rest of the trip but they usally provide approximately 12% distraction from the throbbing in your hips and pounding in your feet that the IB Profen only accounted for 46% relief. but the combo is enought to get you a good nights rest. the morning is a different story.
(mind you this is only the start of day two and you ve been reading for a while already)
DAY TWO
day two through the first week brings the obvious warning signs of the coming abuse–mostly physical. let me tell you how it starts but let me remind you that you will dismiss it, chalk it up to a “learning experience” or “quirks” or “mannerisms” you are willing to overlook because of the “excitement and beauty”
but the signs are there. they are obvious they are painful. and they sometimes often bleed.
they start with walking and you could say the style of type of walking. for the reader i have taken the time, observation, and field study to determine the four types of walking warning signs.
ONE: the pimp walk or gate.
TWO: walking like you have to poo
THREE: walking across hot coals
FOUR: “that girl’s drinking from the fountain of youth and im drinking fucking geriatric juice.”
SIGN ONE: The Pimp Walk
the pimp walk is onset by day two. you feel a little sore maybe a little hot spot on your foot that will soon turn into a raging volcano of “lymph fluid” by sign three. you ve got a little swagger that could be confused as a stylish pimp walk except you are in the woods and no one is around. Imagine a cane instead of hiking poles and a track suit as opposed to polypro. basically think alphonse’s pimp walk when he was once on the prowl complete with his KANGOL hat.
SIGN TWO:the gratuitous poo reference walk
this is when you first admit to yourself that something is not right. this is when you try and take control of a loosing battle for the first time but she accompanied with the “excitement and beauty” beats you back into submission. the pimp walk has now turned into something more– a little more grtesque, a lot more than a swagger. you are holding back the pain, denying the tears, clinching back the pressure while still trying not to forget to breath.
one step…breath…2 steps…breath…3 steps…4 steps…breath…hold back tears…
oh i forgot the about the while “you are trying to take control” part. your feet are covered with duct tape. its like a 7 layer burrito but only four or five layers. ductape is the tortilla, followed by athletic tape as lettuce, then moleskin and bandaids as the beans and rice, accompanied by compeed as sour cream. but it wont work ultimately. its only masking the pain and denial.
inevitibility will strike…
ENTER SIGN THREE FROM STAGE RIGHT: Walking on Hot Coals
this could be around day 3-5. this all depends on how fast you break. are you a wild stallion that keeps the fire in your eye even after you break or are you the dog that pees and cowers in the corner? EXACTLY you are the cowering dog that has to now walk across…i mean waddle across hot coals all day long as punishment. this usually involves walking without bending both knees and gasping at every step because these “lymph fluid” filled volcanos excruciatingly feel like they are exploding with each firely step on to hot coals.
this day. this day that i write about is not a good day. this…this is a terrible day or days.
but…
“the beauty and excitement”
SIGN FOUR: “That girl’s drinking from the fountain of youth and im drinking fucking geriatric juice.”
you have given in. you have crumbled. you have now seen the dark clouds, the river crossings, the biting tortutous flying insects. you now realize the situation you are in and have acknowledged it. any crippling walk falls into this category. everything hurts especially your pride from being so naive and getting yourself into this situation. bones ache. feet feel like they are being pounded by hammers, blisters have popped, new blisters have formed, legs are bleeding, minutes last for hours but you walk on.
but…
you can still see the “beauty and excitement.”
and you walk on and on and on…
because thats all you can do. thats why you are out here. a ~2500 mile woman isnt an easy load to bear. but she sure is beautiful. and ive only seen 350 miles of her.
hope all is well out there
it is over here
adam b
That’s hot. Wish I were there. Be Safe.